Hey all and welcome back to The Bones!
You ever see that long haired guy with the well trimmed beard sitting at a picnic table when it gets really nice out. He’ll just be sitting there with an acoustic guitar in the sun. Doesn’t matter how hot it is, he’s going to have some sort of fake Vietnam jacket on or maybe a scarf. Just sittin there, chillin with his “axe.” Then all of the sudden his doosh senses start tingling and he starts to play one of three songs that he knows: Sweet Home Alabama, House of the Rising Sun, or a Nirvana song of his choosing. (He feels that Kurt Cobain properly understands the torment in his soul that his parents just can’t fathom.) So what set his Doosh Sense off? Why a hot girl began walking up.
Now music has been used to pick up chicks for many a year, but come on, sir. Really? Way to mainstream the one pickup line that most of us music nerds, hipsters, and hippies have. “I may be twenty years old, in debt twenty grand in student loans and live in a cramped dorm room with three other guys, but I have a kick ass guitar!” Now the stylish folk are taking that from us too?
Well two can play at that game. Why don’t we just go out, get a gaudy kanji tattoo and buy some skin-tight tshirts of bands that we have never heard of.
That’s another thing. People that wear band tshirts. Oh wow. You like Dark Side of the Moon? What’s your favorite track? “Uhh… Dark Side of the Moon?” Great, yeah. That’s wonderful.
The other day I actually struck up a convo with a really nice chick that had a Theory of a Deadman Tshirt on. Woman actually knew what she was talking about. Props to her. From now on, we’re going by the Theory Girl rule. If you can name five songs you like or have been to at least one concert, AND (And this is a big AND) can name at least ONE of the band members. You’re golden. Wear your apparel with pride. You deserve it!
Oh wow. That feels WONDERFUL to get off my chest!
I think we should all try to be a judgeasaurus rex from time to time. How else will we keep the doosh population down?
Coincidentally yours,
-Costello
P.S. Best Kurt Cobain joke of the week goes to Blondie!
P.P.S. You know the drill by now! Follow me! Share me! THE WORLD NEEDS TO SEE THESE WORDS!
